Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, frequently regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” founded in mid 2012, it has swiftly become the most widely syndicated cat recommendations column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
Fur to dye for?
DEAR TABBY: one of my roommate cats, Fluffy, has started going gray. She’s developing patches of salt-and-pepper fur, but the thing is, she’s only four years old!
The other day we were outside trying to find lizards together when a tomcat walked by. He gestured toward fluffy and asked, “mrow?” Is she your mommy cat?
ANNUNCIO
Um…I flipped out. Tabby, fluffy is only six months older than me.
Fluffy didn’t seem to mind, but I suggested that she dye her fur. I’ve seen some really trendy styles (I love lion cuts) and dye jobs online.
I’ve been toying with the idea of unusual her with a complimentary trip to the kitty salon, but what do you think, Tabby? would it be an proper gift?
ANNUNCIO
Cats & Makeup Felpa ??
$ 42.
Acquistare ora
— helpful in Houston
DEAR HELPFUL: Unless you want a big surprise of your own (in the shape of sharp claws and a really angry cat), don’t do it.
I know that in today’s kitten-obessed culture, going gray early isn’t always checked out in a positive light, but it must be. a lot of cats don’t mind, and some even sport the look on purpose, believing it makes them look a lot more distinguished.
My advice: learn to accept and appreciate your roommate for the kitty she is.
A not-so-model citizen
DEAR TABBY: My co-worker, Buttons, is always asking to borrow money for gravy and catnip, and I normally say yes. but it makes me uncomfortable. We work together at the same kitty modeling agency and see each other every day.
Yesterday at Petco buttons asked me for 69 cents to get a can of fancy Feast. I lied and told him that I didn’t have any money on me, but when I went up to the register to get my gravy with my VISA debit card, buttons pranced over and told the cashier to also ring up his can on my card.
Ero scioccato! Il nervo…
I work hard for my gravy, Tabby, but I wouldn’t mind so much if buttons reciprocated. Of course, he never does. Cosa devo fare? I’m saving up for grad school ideal now (I just got accepted into UC Davis’ Catnip Cultivation program), so I need every penny.
— Ticked in Tampa
DEAR TICKED: That is annoying! way I see it, you can manage it in one of two ways.
You could take the cat by the claws and assertively tell buttons to knock it off, or you can bide your time until you leave for school.
Whatever you decide, don’t feel bad. You’re not in the wrong. buttons is taking advantage.
Office romances: yea or nay?
DEAR TABBY: What are your thoughts on inter-office romances? Specifically, I’m referring to two assistants dating.
My executive assistant, Charlene, whom I’ve worked with considering that I was a kitten, has been spending a great deal of time at another assistant’s office.
The assistant’s name is Bob, and he lives in the apartment or condo next door.
Bob moved in about six months ago, and I recognized his potential shortly after he arrived. He’s friendly, professional, attentive, and gifted in kitty massage. Tabby, he has all the makings of an exemplary executive assistant.
Charlene need to have observed it, too, because she and Bob have been getting along swimmingly. Either she’s at his office, or he’s at ours.
In a way, I have access to two assistants — which I love! I can send Bob out to get gravy while Charlene brushes my fur.
È fantastico!
But I’m worried…
What if their relationship sours? I don’t want to have to choose sides.
— Living large in Los Angeles
DEAR LIVING LARGE: This may sound old-fashioned, but I’m not a huge fan of inter-office romances.
I know they’re common nowadays, but they can be bad news if things don’t work out. and that kind of distraction could be bad for business.
With that said, you’re in a hard spot. It sounds like you have access to two great assistants.
Now, I know another cat who was in a similar situation, and he tried to sabotage the relationship by shredding the office furniture and kicking kitty litter onto the floor.
Non è andata bene. Both assistants ended up treating him like the villain.
In this case, I think your only option is to opt for the flow. Neither you nor I can predict the future, but there is a lesson here. next time, make sure your company has a policy against inter-office fraternization.
A difficult toy situation
DEAR TABBY: At a charity gala I recently attended, all of the cat guests were asked to leave their toys at the door, as the host had “a thing” about clutter, and didn’t want fuzzy mice and crinkly balls all over the living room (her words).
Wanting to honor the host’s wishes, I left my faTeaser della piuma di Vorite alla porta.
Sfortunatamente, è stato rubato.
Ho contattato l’ospite dopo la festa, e si sono scusati, ma mi sento come se avessero fatto qualcosa per compensarmi, considerando che non avrei mai portato il mio teaser con me se avessi saputo in anticipo essere in grado di portarlo dentro
Sto chiedendo troppo, Tabby? Era il mio giocattolo di piume preferito.
– stressante in Sausalito
Caro stressante: quello che è successo era molto sfortunato, ma prendilo come una lezione utile.
Se ti trovi mai più una situazione simile, chiedi all’ospite di soddisfare i tuoi giocattoli in una stanza separata a chiave o non darle affatto.
In alternativa, se il tuo assistente esecutivo frequenta anche lo stesso evento, chiedergli di tenere i tuoi giocattoli per te.
Per quanto riguarda la responsabilità dell’host per la perdita, bene, ogni host è diverso. Potresti dire loro che il teaser ha avuto un grande valore sentimentale, il che è vero. Se hanno qualche classe, devono rimborsarti.
TRAUMA TOE
Caro Tabby: il mio assistente Charlie e ho lavorato insieme ora per circa un anno, e andiamo d’accordo, ma ha l’abitudine più fastidiosa …
Non coglie mai le unghie dei piedi, e sono più lunghe dei miei artigli! Quando la famiglia mi accompagna con il piede, è come se fossi attaccato da un’aquila.
È ripugnante e imbarazzante, tabby, specialmente quando indossa i flip-flop in pubblico.
Gli ho detto “Meow!” Taglia i toenail! Ma mi ignora o mi strofina il mento.
Charlie è fantastico, ma questo problema non è. Aiutami fuori, Tabby. Come faccio a prendere Charlie a prendere le sue unghie molto più seriamente?
– Vexed in Vermont
Caro VESTED: Divertente ne parlerai perché anche io uso un assistente maschile con unghie eccezionalmente lunghe.
Ti ho affrontato diverse volte, ma come il tuo assistente, mi ignorava solo o mi strofina il mento (perché lo fanno sempre?).
Forse la manutenzione orribile del tuo assistente è dovuta al suo intenso programma. O forse piace solo lo sguardo.
Oltre a chiedere piacevolmente, non sono sicuro di che altro puoi fare. Immagino che tu potessi prenotarlo un appuntamento in un locale Nail Beauty Parlour – un sacco di offerte manicure da uomo e pedicure in questi giorni.
Tienimi postato su questo. Sono interessato a sentire cosa succede.
Verrà il vero caro tabby per favore?
Caro Tabby: ho letto la tua colonna per anni. Lo adoro! Ma ho bisogno di sapere – sei un umano o un vero gatto?
– curioso in calabasas
Caro curioso: c’era una voce che va in giro che la mia colonna è stata effettivamente scritta da una breve, sassosa, amante-amorevole signora, ma ti assicuro che la voce era falsa.
Ho il 100% puro gatto, e scrivo ogni parola delle mie colonne.
ANNUNCIO
Da un felino all’altro, grazie per aver letto la caro Tabby, e buona notte.
I tuoi amichevoli tossicodipendenti di ricorso,
Karen e tabs.